Giving.Up

Personal/Bawl Out Post!

(You have been warned.)

It may not seem a big deal, but it is to me. Someone *no pointing* said that I gave up when things became too difficult for me. When there's something I don't understand, I push back and just give up. What this person doesn't realize is that yes, I will do that from time to time, but I go back and get the job done.

These past few days have been hard for me. It's going to be a hard month. I've got my mind on other things and I wasn't thinking today. That's the only reason I was "stupid".

I know I know. That's no excuse. But when you are on the edge, you are on the edge and there are only certain things that are constantly running through your mind.

I ask questions. They may seem like idiotic questions that I "obviously" know the answer to, but I still ask. There's nothing wrong with that. I don't say, "Hey, how do I do this? Can you do it for me?" It's more like, "I don't understand how this works, can you explain it to me." I will never ask someone to do it for me unless they're showing me how to in the first place. At least I ask for help.

If I gave up so easily. I wouldn't have my horse. I would've sold him after the first three payments of 225 dollars which, three years later is 325 dollars a month (I've payed for him all by myself, including shavings & other necessities since summer before 10th grade). I would've sold him when my first winter went by and spring rolled in. Ever work with a horse who hasn't been worked with all winter? When spring rolls in, you start all over. It's so frustrating. The bucking. The biting. The fighting against you. There is no peace. I remember trying to ride and jumping off, throwing my own tantrum. I walked away from him. Just leaving him there. I opened the gate and stopped. I turned around, put my helmet back on and re-mounted. That was one of the best rides we have ever had. (I'd go into more detail and other runs we've had but I know you want to see the end.)

It taught me something. Don't give up. Yeah, I'm tough. But I don't get going when times get tough. I stick with it and I've pulled through and I will continue to do so.

I give piano lessons to little kids and a close friend of mine. My number one pet peeve? "I can't do it!" I follow my own rules and you'll rarely find a time when I say that. That phrase is a cop-out and one of the worst excuses ever. Yes, there will be times when it is legit, but try. Really really really try. I do. If there's something I don't understand, I don't say that I can't, I say, "I don't understand. Can you explain it to me?" If my students ask me this instead of saying that they can't, I explain it and then they understand. They become more comfortable asking for help as well.

Sometimes a girl just needs to be pointed in the right direction!!!

It ticks me off when you ask a person to explain something and they get aggravated with you. Don't they make you, who doesn't understand in the first place, feel even more stupid and afraid to ask them questions again? They do that to me.

*breaths*

Okay...I'm done.

f.A.r.I.s
{c.P.s}

I have confidence in sunshine.
I have confidence in rain.
I have confidence that spring will come again.
Besides which you see, I have confidence in me!

-The Sound of Music
-" I Have Confidence"