What Do We Work For?

It's those moments that you sit at work surfing the internet (against the rules) when you start wondering, how the FUCK did I get here? Is this really what I want to do? Or is this just another wave I have to take onto the shore of the island of happiness...

I love working with the animals. I love interacting with clients... But I never wanted this before. I wasn't that little girl running around with a fake stethoscope saying "I want to be a veterinarian and save the lives of animals!!!" I don't think I ever really had that moment of, "I want to be a..." Life just always went where it went. I was built and groomed to work as a kid. Mom was an entertainer (and before you think stripper... She was on a kid's TV show). My Dad was a hard working/mechanic/farm hand/roof fixing/welder/all-around guy. He did everything. Any time either of them were offered a job, no matter what it was, they took it. Well... If I didn't get either of their good looks, I sure got their work ethic.

Which is probably why I failed in school. I mean I made it out with maybe a 2.3 or 2.6 GPA and a B.A. in Psychology which means absolutely nothing. But I did graduate. That's what matters right? Why do I still feel like I haven't completed a single thing. Made an ounce of difference in my life or for anyone else? It's like I'm completely stuck in limbo all the time.

The one thing this job has taught me though is that work is not lifestyle. Or at least a healthy one. I wish I figured this out a long time ago... For once I really don't want to put work in front of anything else. I'm done dropping every opportunity to live to get a couple more hours on the paycheck. What's the point in working so hard that you can't enjoy exactly what you're working for. I want to enjoy my dog, and on top of it all... I want to enjoy my horse. That is why I work. I work to eat, I work to clothe myself, I work to put gas in my car... But it shouldn't be to put gas in my car to go to work. It should be to put gas in my car to live my life and enjoy it.

If I don't take anything else from this job other than trying to deal with people who are on a continuous power trip, it's that I need to enjoy my life.

End Rant.